One Man's Trash is Another Man's Blog

    Today while browsing blogs, I found this:

click here

If you follow the links, you’ll find some pretty interesting stuff, including the following quote:

“According to Phelps' official site(s), God Hates Fags.  He also hates America.  And Canada.  And Sweden.  But then apparently he also hates figs.  And shrimp.  And homophobes.“

    Now, I don’t pretend to be extremely knowledgeable on the whole “gay” issue, but apparently that hasn’t stopped anyone else from forming/expressing an opinion, so let me give it a shot:

    The Sunnis had their Kurds; the Hutu had their Tutsi; the Nazis had their Jews; why can’t we have our gays?  To hell with “legal rights” – the only thing that matters is my twisted and illogical agenda, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get people to understand that – even if that means fabricating my facts and resources.  As long as I convince everyone to agree with me, I’m justified in any extreme I take, including blatently lying.  “Il fine giustifica i mezzi” (the end justifies the means).
    In the end, I have no remorse for these stupid ugly faggot stinky poopyheads; maybe if the only strong correlation found towards homosexuality were biological in nature (for instance, hypothetically, having an excess of estrogen in the womb), or if it could be shown that there is no fine line between being a homosexual and a heterosexual, then I might be a little more forgiving.  But it can’t, so I’m not; thus, homosexuality is a choice.
   Since I just proved that being gay is a choice, and since being gay is obviously immoral (if it weren’t, then two men kissing in private wouldn’t be infringing on my freedom of speech/religion/intelligence), being gay should be illegalized.  Anyone still pretending to be gay should, since they’re obviously mentally unstable, be immediately sent to sexual-reorientation therapy.  In this way, we may finally rid the world of homosexuals once and for all, just the way that Jesus intended.
    Homosexuals are mentally unstable.  Homosexuals are pedophiles.  According to distinguished Dr. James Dobson, Homosexuals are going to bring about the apocalypse.  Homosexuality is just plain unnatural.  It’s obvious that in order to prevent the breakup of the family-unit, keep our jobs, and stop the coming of the antichrist, we must clean America’s noble blood of all Blacks Jews Communists Asians Indians Arabs Gays, and go back to the way marriages are supposed to be in America:  between a man and his cousin.

Heidi:  “So wait, [Raja]… what did you get on your ACTs?  A 33?”
Raja:  “Ya…”
Heidi  “And what was your GPA?”
Raja:  “2.7…
…stop laughing.” 

[edit]
Girlfriend:  “They probably just accepted you as a filler, because they expect you to pay and drop out right away.”
Raja:  “Thanks, hun.”
Girlfriend:  “Anytime.”

    All the freshman who just finished reading it keep talking about Romeo and Juliet.  I’m going to tell you what I tell all of them:  I’m glad Romeo died at the end.  He deserved it, that jerk.  Romeo got Mercutio killed, the one cool character in the play.  Mercutio was even a good enough friend to stand up for Romeo when Tybalt was being a bully, and what does Romeo do?  Lets him die.  Romeo waits until after Mercutio has been killed to avenge him and fight Tybalt.  Nice job, jackass; now your best friend is dead and you’ve been banished from your house.  What will Juliet think when she finds out she’s married such a loser?
    The ending, although agreeable, needs some minor modifications.  For example, after Romeo dies, instead of having Juliet kill herself, I would have Mercutio come back to life, spit on Romeo’s grave and lie with his wife.  After that, Mercutio would run around and eat babies.  Damn, that would be wicked; I should do this for a living.  Shakespeare’s just lucky I wasn’t alive during his time, or he’d be out of a job.

Don’t agree with me?  Then don’t leave a comment; you’re obviously wrong.

I found out today that if a christ and an antichrist collide, their mass is converted to pure energy.

[edit] “It was said during the 1994 elections there wasn’t one candidate that could be elected to national office unless they supported the death penalty.  Which got me to thinking, if Jesus Christ were here and running for elected office, would the Christian Coalition vote for him?“
-Jimmy Tingle

   Yesterday during church (that’s right, I go to church; so get used to it and stop emailing me), the pastor had a bunch of 8th- and 9th-grade kids file down the aisle and sit in front of the congregation.  At first, I expected them to start taking their clothes off, but apparently the church I go to isn’t Catholic.  Instead, the Pastor began asking them questions for what I believe is known as the “examination,” a trial before confirmation in which kids are called upon to answer questions about the Bible; this is the first year that they held it in public, during a church-service.  At first, the questions were dry and expected:  “Will you go to heaven if you don’t believe in Jesus,” “Which of the ten commandments tells you to love thy neighbor like thyself,” et cetera.  However, after one of the questions the pastor suddenly broke out into story:

Pastor:    “Janie loves money.  She decided she doesn’t like being poor, and from then on she spent all of her time gathering money.  She got two jobs, and worked overtime so that she would always have money to buy the things she wanted.  What is Janie’s problem?”
Answer:    “The money has become Janie’s God.“

    ‘Ok,’ I thought, ‘that could have been worded a little better, but I think I can see what they’re trying to say.’

Pastor:    “Jack bought a broken down old 1967 Chevy a few years ago.  Since then, Jack has put all of his time and money into fixing it up.  He bought new tires, new rims, put in a new engine, and now spends all his money paying for gas and insurance for his car.  What is Jack’s problem?”
Answer:    “The car has become Jack’s God.“

    ‘What the hell?  They’re teaching the kids that having a hobby and setting goals for yourself is bad?  Are you expected to just devote all your time, when you’re not too busy working for your survival or popping out babies, to the church?  Could they get any fiendishly lower?’

Pastor:    “One man donates a percentage of his paycheck to the church each week; one man gives a fixed amount each week; and one man doesn’t donate at all.  Who is God most pleased with?”
Answer:    “The percentage.”
Pastor:    “That’s right – God prefers a percentage of your paycheck to a fixed amount.”

    At this point I broke out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, although I was able to keep quiet enough that only the few people around me took notice.  The examination, meanwhile, continued.

Pastor:    “Sarah, can you define marriage?”
Answer:    “Marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman.“
Pastor:    “That’s right – marriage is between a man and a woman; not between two men or two women.”
…
Pastor:    “Can anyone give me a passage from the Bible that supports the fact that God is against abortion?”
…
Pastor:    “Does a man have the right to take another man’s life?”
Answer:    “No.“
Pastor:    “That’s right; no one has the right to take the life of another man – except the government.  The government has an iron sword with which it rules over all people, and if that means administering the death penalty, so be it.”

    ‘HO-LY-CRAP‘ (no pun intended) – that was the most blatent propeganda I had ever heard.  I was half expecting the pastor to pull out a Cheney-Rumsfeld ’08 sign and hang it on the altar.  Seriously, people; although the religion is bad enough, it can at least be condoned – BUT LEAVE POLITICS OUT OF IT.  Most kids have enough problems without you forcing your skewed opinions down their throats.
    The worst part, though, is the fact that the pastor could preach about the evils of killing an unborn fetus, and two minutes later turn around and, while managing to hold a straight face, start talking about how the government has the right to kill a human being – and no one thought twice about it.

    The pastor went on to discuss how God gave governments the right to conduct war.