Lessons in life I’ve learned the hard way
Raja: “Heck ya, violence is funny.”
Girlfriend: “So it would be funny if I beat you?”
Raja: “That would be hilarious; I can just see you filling your purse with bricks and whacking me over the head – I’d be lying on the ground, bleeding and laughing away.”
Girlfriend: “I don’t carry a purse.”
Raja: “Then just beat me with a brick; whatever’s most convenient for you.”
Raja: “When I need dead babies, I go down to the abortion clinic.”
Girlfriend: “I shouldn’t get irritated over you asking questions.”
Raja: “Good; can we have a threesome?”
Raja: “I wouldn’t say you’re more important than the TV – it’s about equal.”
Raja: “No, but seriously, you’re obviously more important to me than TV is. If you were hanging off a cliff by a rope, and TV were hanging off a cliff by a rope, I’d definately try to save you first.”
Raja: “I could always buy a new TV; but new girlfriends are too expensive.”
Raja: “Your computer’s making funny noises? Here’s what you do: just pick it up, and shake it real hard. Shuts it up every time. Works with small children, too.”
Girlfriend: “You know what they say about assuming…”
Raja: “It makes an ass out of you.”
Girlfriend: “And me.”
Raja: “Exactly.”
There were more, but I’m pretty sure that if I posted them, she’d break up with me.
