Honestly, I’m thankful for religion; without it, there would be nothing to satirize (well, other than politics). However, sometimes they can be so hypocritical that I wonder if it’s intentional – that’s the only way I can rationalize so many people actually taking it seriously.
As I’m sure you all already know, about three weeks ago former Pope John Paul II died in his private apartment. I was watching MSNBC at the time – their “Vatican correspondant” declared his death to be “The best thing to happen to the Catholic Church in recent years” (referring, no doubt, to the fact that the Catholic Church hasn’t had this much publicity since the Catholic priest molestation of little boys was brought to light). Back in the Vatican, thousands of worshipers came from all over the world to pray for and worship the Pope in his final hours.
“Archbishop Leonardo Sandri asked for a few moments of silence as he announced the death to the thousands of faithful who had congregated in St. Peter’s Square. People in the crowd bowed their heads to pray, some of them in tears.
Then they burst into applause.”
(www.cnn.com)
After his death, loud chants of “Santo, Santo!” (or, for you English speakers in the audience, “Saint, Saint!”) could be heard from the crowd, implying that the people wanted John Paul to be immediately declared a saint. However, such an action would go against tradition; in order for the Pope to be declared a saint, he must perform at least two miracles – after his death. That’s right; he, like Jesus, must not only have the ability to create miracles, but he must also be able to do them after he has died. If he does so, he will become only the fourth Pope in history to attain sainthood.
Before I continue, let me recap what I have already said – thousands of worshipers came to witness the Pope’s death; they demanded that he become a saint; and in order to become a saint, the Pope must somehow create two posthumous miracles. Now, don’t get me wrong, but aren’t there a list of ten simple rules that every faithful Christian is supposed to follow? And isn’t one of those simple rules not to pretend to have magic (or deistical) powers, and not to worship those who do so (the purported “false deities”)? Isn’t there a, what I like to call, commandment that states, “Thou shalt not worship false deities/prophets?” (nod your head) Then isn’t the concept of even having a Pope entirely against your religion? (nod your head) Good. Now kiss my feet, peon.
This is hardly even fun anymore; religion practically satirizes itself.
